Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
