I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
