D3 body, D1 cock
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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