fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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