I want to have your abortion
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
