Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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