apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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