What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my shit smells like andre
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Your cock deserves a montage
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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