I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
