"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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