i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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