If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
