He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
