can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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