So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
