Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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