After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
