He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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