Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
