Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
