The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
