please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
