and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
