Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
