Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize