Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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