my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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