Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
