drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
