Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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