i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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