I can tuck mytits in my pants
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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