This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
