my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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