next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
