I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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