1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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