I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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