apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize