Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Found your dick twin last night
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Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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