He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
