But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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