You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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