You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
