Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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