her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
