so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
