pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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