his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
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it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
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I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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