Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
