Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
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