His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hippo gnu deer
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
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