i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
