so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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