what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
