you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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