I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
