the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
