You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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