You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
