at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
