Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
