if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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