I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
