is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
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I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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