yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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