Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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