the day after is always just damage control
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
