Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
