Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
