Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
