Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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