we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Never underestimate the power of titties
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
