i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
